i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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