There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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