i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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