I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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