Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just high enough for therapy.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
please don't ironically join a cult
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