I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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