ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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