hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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