I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
