When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
