WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My vagina is very pro this idea
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
