Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
