that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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