Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize