I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
