Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
