I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
