Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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