Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
