Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
