Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
