Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Come on in and take your pants off
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