the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
