Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize