Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
