I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
