Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
