You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Let's paint friendship bongs
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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