i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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