you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Please don't give away my fajitas
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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