i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This is my gift to your gina
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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