she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
