I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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