tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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