i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
