The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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