you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
