Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
