I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
