I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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