i just google imaged poop.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
