Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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