4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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