What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
