I wish they made helmets for livers.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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