is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
