Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Randomize