I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He better not be in your backpack
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
