I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
