i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
