i permit you to call me
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
