I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize