Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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