everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
smell my finger.
do herpes really smell.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
