grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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