Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
