Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
