I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
