Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Please don't give away my fajitas
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
