real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
