addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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