i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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