i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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