I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize