I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize