The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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