took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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