Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Soap is not a condiment
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
