i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
