@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize