i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
