Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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