he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
