If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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