So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize