shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
