I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
