you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
