I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
