We're like a lot better than the average bears
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
